Monday, October 7, 2013

Art can heal...

I love feeling the art that I create. 

I love watching all the videos of people creating in their art journals.

I bought an art journal, but still only watched other people create.

Then.  Then I told myself that *I* needed some therapy.  My art journal was the answer to put down in basic forms some thoughts about my parents. 

Memorialize them having been here.

Having loved each other for 50 years, and only the death of my dead breaking that apart.  

Then dealing with my mom having alzheimer's and not remember this man she had 50 years with.  A family with.  A life and a home. 

Then she's gone.  Alzheimer's and the strokes that come along with it, took her from me in a simple phone call for the second time.  Because I had already lost her once to that horrific disease, the disease that had her calling ME mom because she just knew I was a good person who was taking care of her, and bringing her ice cream on my visits.  Ice cream she enjoyed until she forgot she enjoyed it.

My first pages in my art journal were for my parents.  For 50 years of marriage, good and bad.  To a hope that I will make it to 50 years with my husband some day too.. and maybe even more.  

After using gesso to prime my pages, I played with gelatos.  I wanted to use pinks and purples and colors that make you think of love, and turmoil and real marriage.  I used gelatos with my stencils to give it some layers.  For the first time ever, I did an image transfer.  It was messy and it was fun.  It made the beautiful old wedding photo I had of my parents FEEL old and loved.. even though it was a photocopy!  I used yellow gelato with the ampersand stencil on a thesaurus page, and fussy cut it as liberally as I could.   I am NOT a fussy cutter.  I added some large stickers that I found for their names.  More gelato with heart stencils.  

It was very emotionally fulfilling to make this layout.  It's mine.  It's the graffiti style of writing on a notebook back when I was in high school.  It's of a love in a simple time... even though you don't realize it then.  

Today is 5 years since my dad left us.  And two months since my mom joined him.  I still need a lot of therapy to get through everything that's in my head.  I do hope that some of it will be some really great art!

Remember to love our family and friends while they are here with us.  Make memories that won't ever leave you.  And more importantly, make some art!