Art Evolving

I am most happy when I am learning new aspects of art.  Following new artists, taking classes, playing around in my art journal.  Over the past few months, I have really been venturing in almost EVERY direction -- and I have NEVER been happier!

I don't know that I have a style yet.. but I definitely am having more confidence to go ahead and just TRY something, and not worry so much about the outcome.  How freeing is that?!  I would recommend it to everyone.  Get an art journal.  Follow some tutorials, sketch out those crazy things in your head and just see where it all takes you.  I find that having an art journal is much more inviting to try new things.  It's a book, there's no expectation of it needing to be a "work of art" and it's just something to get your creativity flowing.

One of the things I started to try was faces.  Girl faces.  I am a mom of boys, and I never think to do "girly" things.  But, why?  I *AM* a girl..  I *CAN* do girly things, right?  I mean, they are cute faces.  So I went ahead and tried.

Following a couple of videos by Willowing (http://www.willowing.org/) I tried faces and water soluble crayons.  What girl doesn't like needing new supplies?!

This of course led me to just try some faces on my own from what I had learned in following the videos..

I am not sure which is more fun - faces? or the backgrounds that you can create and immerse them in?

Briefly I tried to follow along with Andrea Gomoll [http://andrea-gomoll.de/] and her daily book pages, but I only ended up doing a couple.  They were OK, but nothing that I felt too passionate about.

Then, the magic happened!  I found out that I love a bit more of the funky art and the process of finding your art as it forms. And that there were really talented people out there doing this kind of art.  That there was raw art.  Crazy art.  Sometimes a bit mental, but so emotional grabbing to me.  I happened upon such an artist and become completely obsessed with her process -- Michelle Brown (a.k.a. MitsiB [http://michellebrown.ning.com/]).  It's raw, quick, emotional.. sometimes strange and completely AMAZING.

I had a page that was a bunch of layers and I couldn't figure out what it wanted to be and after seeing a few of Mitsib's videos... I realized it just hadn't spoken yet... and in a matter of one short session this was born:

A bit twisted, but it's like some of the art I am REALLY drawn to.  The type of art that every time you look at it, you can maybe see something knew, something different.  I was still using some faces, but they weren't perfect.  I  ** L O V E ** that.  There's so much there.  Depth.  Emotion. Doodles. I need to make more of these.  I decided that I had a canvas board that I was creating for someone and it just wasn't working... I wasn't loving it.. but what if I just kept layering?  What if I thought about this person, added more layers and saw what could be?!  It's actually one of my favorite pieces I have created for someone....  and I am behind on getting it out to her.. but hopefully when she gets it, she will LOVE it.

I am still learning new things and trying things, but maybe that should be another post... my goal is to update more of what I am actually doing real time.. even if no one is watching / reading. 

Art can heal...

I love feeling the art that I create. 

I love watching all the videos of people creating in their art journals.

I bought an art journal, but still only watched other people create.

Then.  Then I told myself that *I* needed some therapy.  My art journal was the answer to put down in basic forms some thoughts about my parents. 

Memorialize them having been here.

Having loved each other for 50 years, and only the death of my dead breaking that apart.  

Then dealing with my mom having alzheimer's and not remember this man she had 50 years with.  A family with.  A life and a home. 

Then she's gone.  Alzheimer's and the strokes that come along with it, took her from me in a simple phone call for the second time.  Because I had already lost her once to that horrific disease, the disease that had her calling ME mom because she just knew I was a good person who was taking care of her, and bringing her ice cream on my visits.  Ice cream she enjoyed until she forgot she enjoyed it.

My first pages in my art journal were for my parents.  For 50 years of marriage, good and bad.  To a hope that I will make it to 50 years with my husband some day too.. and maybe even more.  

After using gesso to prime my pages, I played with gelatos.  I wanted to use pinks and purples and colors that make you think of love, and turmoil and real marriage.  I used gelatos with my stencils to give it some layers.  For the first time ever, I did an image transfer.  It was messy and it was fun.  It made the beautiful old wedding photo I had of my parents FEEL old and loved.. even though it was a photocopy!  I used yellow gelato with the ampersand stencil on a thesaurus page, and fussy cut it as liberally as I could.   I am NOT a fussy cutter.  I added some large stickers that I found for their names.  More gelato with heart stencils.  

It was very emotionally fulfilling to make this layout.  It's mine.  It's the graffiti style of writing on a notebook back when I was in high school.  It's of a love in a simple time... even though you don't realize it then.  

Today is 5 years since my dad left us.  And two months since my mom joined him.  I still need a lot of therapy to get through everything that's in my head.  I do hope that some of it will be some really great art!

Remember to love our family and friends while they are here with us.  Make memories that won't ever leave you.  And more importantly, make some art!